Ashes Darkmares Journal
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in the "ashes_darkmare" journal:[<< Previous 20 entries]
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05:54 am
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The Year 2007
well it late into the early morning of 2007...I have not updated this journal in a long time, maybe it because since my last entry in 2006 I didn't think so much would change....Tabitha and I are not going out anymore...a part of me misses her truthly...I mostly miss the old Tabitha though...but time change and I have to just move on...*sighs* I don't want to talk about that anymore.
Anyway I now have an Xbox 360 thanks to Darkfirefly best Christmas present ever xD...I still owe you money from it I think...damn...I'll figure something out.
anyway I'll might write more in the future, I just want to go too bed now x_x night...
Current Location: at the desk wishing to be in bed
Current Mood:  sleepy
Current Music: the humming of the computer fans
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03:08 am
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An update...wow....long time...yeah...Wii!!!!
well, I'm writing an entry late at night...whoopy doo...anyway Anime Boston is coming right up two weeks from now, I'll be in Boston at this time sleeping or something preparing for the next day of the Convention heh...anyway
this year it will only be me, Firefly and her boyfriend Steve, Tabitha is not going...but the hell with her, she loves me...but yet I'm starting to lose all of that....let her do her own way I don't give a shit...more money for me and Firefly to spend on our selves and here my Anime list...
Azumanga Daioh(The Animation)
Excel Saga
Hellsing
Final Fantasy 7 Advent Children
they are my main goals anything else I'll just discover while there.
I'll post up the events of what gone on for the whole weekend when I get back
and it will be much longer this time xP then last year
anyway halla
~Ashes~
Current Location: home!!!!
Current Mood:  bored
Current Music: Wonder Boy by Tenecious D
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03:12 pm
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an event that in the end leaves you in ruins....
I woke up this morning feeling like I live through hell...I think this was part of the example what hell was...nothing but pain and agony, phisically indefendently and some what mental too...
Friday, I went to this trailer diner parked downtown providences, we needed something to eat and that place was the closes to the bus stop...and the biggest mistake in my life.
I went to the wrestling show afterwards at the West End Community Rec Center on the West side of the city of Providence(which looks no different then Central Falls by the way) after the matches I went home with Mom...at the time she was starting not to feel so good, getting chills she went to bed.
As for me, I stay up longer doing a little computer stuff, but then went to bed for I had a headache from all the excitment of the wrestling event...I went to bed, and like a monster in the night it attack me...pain....pain....pure pain, coming into my stomach, constently the pain never left, starting the morning I was well...yeah in the Toilet, but it help me through the process of healing even if it is taking 5 Days
now the mental angrish of it all...Dad came by, mom told him, I was not feeling well and he like...he like...*sighs* well all I say is I don't think he ever loved me in the first place...and that really hurts, but..screw him, I think I knew that...but being me I was trying not to believe it for so long...glad Dad out of my life that asshole, all he cares about is himself. and just comes by when he has his own reasons and try using us for money...fuck him.
then...because of that fucking diner I miss the first week of my new collage like business school, which I was so pump up for...*sniffle* now I have to wait another 2 months...I should be schooling now but that FREAKIN DINER AND IT FREAKIN POISON TAKEN IT FROM ME!
now that the poison out of my system...I'm just left with the pain it gave me...it not constent pain but it pain that wont go away, I have cromes disese and that been giving me pain already so...now my Cromes problem continues to keep the pain I had from the poison on the sarface as my stomach, back, couple other places of my body became hyper sensitive and left me hurting.
so today I feel broken...
Current Mood:  sore
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10:51 pm
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Damn You Steelers!
who ever chanted Steelers, Steelers...EVERYONE DIES...Ultra megamass Homicide...
Current Mood:  angry
Current Music: the sounds of Wrestling
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11:33 pm
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Don't Stick it in her pooper!!
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v320/Grishka/1138320181639.gif
"Because Dirty Thoughts are not good for you" -Maharo from Maharomatic-
BUT I CAN'T HELP IT! *shot*
Current Mood:  silly
Current Music: 18 and Life by Skid Row
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07:42 pm
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big sigh of releaf...
well, a scary event happen, but it ended with a sigh of releaf, Katty, Taby Sister is alright it gave the family a scare other then the....brother and his friends who have no freakin clue and playing video games...really there dorks...anyway, everything was good, Katty was with her Big sister Kelly, man the mother and father was worried, the Dad lost his appitite...I would be the same if I was him I think...I mean Katty is a 11 year old girl, she so kind and innicent and we was worried that she was lost somewhere in a evil world...anyway I end my entry for now...
Current Mood:  relieved
Current Music: Full Metal Alchemist theme song
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03:17 pm
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two days with Firefly...the Massachusetts story...
When we last saw the Ashes, he was doing something nice for Firefly, bringing her over a Computer screan I don't even use at all much and its still brand new...and so on the next morning which was yesterday a tired Ashes Darkmare gets pick up by Firefly and her mom(she a nice mother)I brought the computer screan over the house and gone up stairs to help Firefly install it...enter the girl I know as Tabitha or Shannara girl(big fan of the Shannara books...but arn't we all?) she and Colleen got home from School and to my surprise the first words I hear out of Taby mouth...FUCK!!(AHHHH!!! Magic word of the day!! ding ding ding) yes Taby was grumpy like Oscar the Grouch...scary.
She decides to walk out and not come back for many hours while on that time...Firefly and I just slotch around the house being bored as life can be...well within that time we just listen to Bill Cosby and other funny people the Noah act with Bill was the greatest...then the Airline stuff from George Collins priceless*grins*
then soon we was just sitting there together in the same love seat head laid back on seat trying to dose off and we have Don here lecturing Shirley like endlessly...and blah...one moment I fallen a sleep on Firefly shoulder or chest don't remember...she didn't mind as long I didn't cuddle then she would've poked me and said "um Cory(my real life name)...it not your boobs to cuddle in..." or something along the lines in or something...yeah...*blushes*
little Chris would normally annoyed the hell out of me but I brought my Shadow the Hedgehog game over and he gone from this world for hours on end...
Taby came home late and said sorry to me for being a grump in front of everyone she blame that one less amount of sleep, and the mid sememster finals which suck worst then life all together than you god I'm done with High School...
we watch CSI then I went home for that night...little did I know it was only the beginning...
***
The Next day...DUN DUN DUUUUUUUN
an even more tired Ashes Darkmare gets pick up by Firefly and her mom once more, drove off pick up Tabitha and Colleen from School...during the time of waiting for Taby and Colleen, Firefly, her mom and I plotted how we could have me over for one weekend for the Anime Convention in May which I'm very excited about...evil (Taby and Firefly) dad going to stop us...*insert Dr. Evil Laugh here*
once Taby and Colleen arrived, we went to Wendys...warning this place is evil as it made the car not start for almost an hour...Colleen block one of the parking seats sitting in it, while Firefly ask for anyone for Jumper cables...Firefly wanted to a freakin FORK... and I grabbed the Jumper Cables out of the gas station...I ended up being there savier...ph33r me!!!
they called up the grandfather, to help with the cable...but...all of a sudden the car returns to life...WOW..must be magic or something...um yeah...God stop messing around with cars or vans or whatever it is!
The grandfather watch us drive back to the house safely now I am here...Taby return from Shopping...now she making Banana bread...Firefly been busy working on the Music video she working on for the Anime Boston con..everything is good it is for now...if other weird things happen I'll type again tonight...when I'm home...yes I'm still at Fireflys so I be leaving now....blah
Current Mood:  good
Current Music: silences....GASP!
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06:13 pm
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Helping friends in need...
if you see Fireflys journal yes I am the one letting her use one of my Computer modaters or whatever how you spell them, she coming by tomorrow and I'm going to help her hook it up going over her place for the day.
my mom was not that thrilled about it...but it should not be a crime for just being nice...
Current Mood: feeling helpful :)
Current Music: Bring in the Machine by Richter
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01:05 pm
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almost 4 months away the return to Boston and Anime will begin
that right people, as you know my friend Firefly171 is making a music video for Anime Boston this year in there new contest, I will be with her also in this years con of 2006, last year was very hecktic for us if you did not read my journal entry of last years events hehehe
but this year it will be much easyier on us, on the Weekend of the con will be in Boston all day Friday from Early morning to sometime during the night to enjoy ourselfs and hopely her music video wins something o.o
when I was there last year on Friday it was not that heavy crowded then Saturday was and buying a pass on that day was easy then when Firefly and I went on Thursday....never doing that again...she(Firefly) was pissed lol
I look forward to this years con I wonder what would be very poppuler there this year...I recently saw the Anime AIR, there possibilitys who knows.
now lets just hope Firefly and I wont be too poor like we was last year lol, mom was the hero that year o.o but mom wont be with us this time
I could go on and on about this...but I'll just keep my energy until May comes along good day...
Current Mood:  excited
Current Music: INVINCIBLE Remix
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12:39 am
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can't sleep...
I can't even fall a sleep tonight so much crap on my mind...but don't want to talk about it anymore so...I'm going to write about what I think of the new Anime I watched thanks to Shirley(Firefly171) for linking me to AIR, since she show me the music video which she posted on her journal, I seen all 13 episodes, the 2 episode Summer Special and a full Feature length movie
I'm not good at telling what it about, because it not that easy to explain all I can say in simple words.
it about a Young Man searching for the reincarnation of his encester in the feudal times of Japan love, and some how try to save her from an unknown and mysterious curse that lingers over the girl...
this is a Anime pack with lovible characters, filled with Romance, Humor and a heavy amount of Drama...oh my god I was in tears in a couple parts in this Anime as I will not explain until you see it.
and other then that, this is the only anime that has a dog that says "Piko!" Pokemon eat your heart out XD!!
well that all I got to say...I give this Anime 9 or 10...I don't know it like wow...
Current Mood:  restless
Current Music: Ending Theme of AIR
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10:59 pm
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...
well I write a new entry...lets start this from yesterday I went to the doctors and there a possibility I have a bladder infection, but my doctor not taking chances so I'm on this medication that will last 3 days to comeplete strong stuff...also taking other things but no comment on them.
now as for Today I feel depressed...why should I be depressed...I should not be hurt over the fact Stephanie had fun Friday...I should be happy for her...maybe I just wish I was in that guy he was with shoes, I guess I'm just feeling a little jealous...and I wish I didn't live so far away...if I had my way I would've met her a long time ago, but nope Reality is a bitch, I say get over it....but I'm not stopping myself from loving her
now I drawn my sorrows with TNA Wrestling...blah
Current Mood:  blah
Current Music: talking about Sting on TNA wrestling TV
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11:33 pm
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piff...
who ever cheered for Denver...I HOPE YOU ALL DIE!!!
Current Mood: blah
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06:45 pm
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I'm finally getting into a bloody collage!
yes you read my title right...yesterday I had a meeting with Sayer Collage it not a big collage...I like small collages 13 months I'll be at it there,I'll be in the business classes, this will help me get jobs or start jobs xP I will surely pwned the working world when the day comes...
I'll be in collage classes from Monday through Thursday 8 to 1...not bad..it might take most of my summer away but I spend last summer doing absolutely nothing so no biggy
Fabuary 8th I will begin doing this and I'll be done in March of 2007 wow...the rest of 2006 gets wasted away on this...whatever
Current Mood:  bouncy
Current Music: ChosenOne By A2
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07:19 pm
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Just another break in the wall
New Years is this Sunday, I'm not so thankful about 2005 for a couple facts, came down with a disese that attacks the stomach calls cromes, the day this happen it sads me and I had the worst summer in my whole life...and heck it had to be on a special summer, I graduated from High School at last my life in School was over and I was going to move on to other goals, then my 20th birthday...which was on the worst week of my life through this time of having Cromes disese.
This totally delayed my life for another year which I hope to do in 2006 is to return it all on track again, so I can start earning money and complete my goals one of them is to meet Stephanie, a girl I known for 3 years now, I care about her very much, I been having a Online relationship with her that long too...
I feel scared about having a real relationship with her really, she has an online relationship with Rav a cool artist which his art style I very much like...I wonder what if he beats me too her in meeting Steph...would I lose her?
I don't know what the future is like I just hope it ends with a high note
2006 is around the corner what it holds behind the wall...only The Lord Jesus Christ knows
Current Mood:  calm
Current Music: listening to Pink Floyd The Wall
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07:47 pm
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Merry Christmas everyone!
I give you all a ho ho ho...hoooooo xP
and I gotten a major brain storm today and I started writing Fanfictions again, for a taste of what to come here the complete prologue of my story which has no name right now take a look.
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It all started…when the world was thought to end, can you believe it? No I don’t think you would, but this story all starts at the most destructive point of an unholy world, the world had blanked out into a time that if it all failed the world that is Planet Earth would not live another day, blood stain the battle field left and right, as black as the sky eyes that look around, the breathing of this surviving soul, was shaky and the heart was beating heavy, the figure walked a little, the body blends into the darkness that ‘it’ produces, which explain how the figure survived.
‘It’ gave off a mighty rawr that shake the planet where it stand, nothing in this world was not able to stop it, almost everyone living on this country was literally dead, survivors so rare, if there found, they be so injured they be slowly dieing, the horrible thought of the reality of it all came to her head, ‘did I have to die, join the rest of my people to there judgment that fallen on them, all they wanted to do was to survive, and live to have there next breath, see there children grow up, live a long life until they can die on there own time and not to be force to like what had happen here’ all this hit this person, finding out to be a lone solder, of a dieing planet there has to be something done here, there was one thing that was not been tested, and there was one left option to try.
The monster rawrs again, shortly after a cry of a female is heard, and the lone solder rises, with her gifted powers she was born with, sadly her fate becomes sealed shut forever right here and right now, a black aura appears, “from the power that was gifted in me…” she puts her hand out, the moment of truth is at hand as she rips the black stone from her necklace “I summon you Anti monster of darkness!” she swallows the stone and the necklace all together, then suddenly a slit splits opens with bright light between her chest, a portal opens and it was sucking everything in, she had form a dimension portal from inside her body, the monster rawrs more as it starts to struggle.
She grits her teeth together as this was very powerful, trees, rocks, dead bodies are getting sucked up into it, the monster ends up colliding with the girl, she screams, as she feels the huge creature enter inside her body, once the monster enter, the slit seals back up, then the sky starts to lighten again, and things started to fall, the female figure who stand there was not human, no she had black fur from head to toe, only pointy fox ears, which are flatten right now, two tails, it had looked to be a kitsune but has wild spiky quills made like hair, she was a beautiful creature, and she loved everyone that she knew in this war, but it over, and only she was standing.
She held her chest after that, lowering herself down to the ground, it was sad, she was now all alone now, all she was, is a prison seal that belong to the worst disaster that ever been created on this planet, and now it seal in her, if she die, the monster would be set free again, little did she knew, she was going to live a long, ever lasting life, as the moment she became one with her black stone she became immortal and ageless.
What will happen next in her life, it would take only a half of 5 generations that was added into the Earth timeline. After the results of the monster defeat, the people who did survive manages to work hard to create the next generation to live on, which was good in away, but still she became a lone wolf in this world, a nomad, who move endlessly not wanting anyone to suffer the pain that is seal up inside her soul, everyday she struggles with nightmares and so on, and wondering when and how long she can last this damn torment, time will tell.
:end Prologue:
what do you think Shirley?
Current Mood:  creative
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06:40 pm
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this what happens when your mother is high
Last night I found my mom smoking some kind of blunt weed or something, I shrug it off because I'll never touch it, but I don't care what my mom does.
well she gave out money yesterday and one of the people who gotten money was ME!! xP I bought $100 dollors worth of Wrestling shows on this website SmartMarkVideo last night gave me the total of a $109, the funny thing...if she was not high last night I wouldn't be able to get these XD
and then mom gave 200 to Richard for Christmas and 40 Dollors Val(Richard's girl friend) the next morning which was today, mom wonder why I wanted to go too the Post office so badly...so I could fill out a $109 money order and mom was like "WHAT?" I grin evilly "you said I could!, I even told you the price and your like 'ok'" I laugh I think whatever she was smoking last night got me away with murder in the form of MONEY XP
P.S: I thought we was going to the movies today but instead change of plains again so tomorrow at the Mall on Christmas eve will be watching two movies...interesting
Current Mood: good
Current Music: Getting away with Murder - PapaRoach
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04:49 pm
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waking up on the shortest damn day of the year...xD
I sit here hungry...sooo hungry, I want something BBQ sause all over it...yeah...BBQ
Richard full of energy today since he finally has his ass out of Jail, mom bailed him out and everything is good,and scaring me awake while I was napping today proves he back xD. Anyway so far the trial of his is a stale bate inconclusive, and it a good thing ^__^ tomorrow before the Christmas weekend going to see some movies, King Kong and that new Jim Carry movie which is full of laughs.
and Shelbie I know you read my journals tell Tabitha I found her Game Cube game and I'll bring it over the next time I see you girls xP
Current Mood:  horny
Current Music: More Dragon Quest 8 music in background
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06:08 pm
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alone all day
well early this morning mom gave me an alternative to not go too this Trial thing today...so I didn't go...and I been home alone since then...I hope mom alright, last I heard from her was 8:30 AM and now it 6:09 PM I hate short days...and December has alot of them.
Current Mood:  Worried yet I'm calm
Current Music: Music from Dragon Quest 8 plays in Background
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02:39 pm
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ugh...
I sit here again and life is still a bitch...
Tomorrow I'm going with mom to be part of this Trial that a friend of ours got force into...it a long story and I don't want to explain how he got into the mess..but I'll explain my day on here when everything set and done...
just today I realized how much assholes people are in the E-feds after I fuck up just once they now wont let me have creativity to my own character Shadow Dragon...so yeah the Dragon guy give me a hint on it and I say FUCK YOU ALL...but Hells Guardian deleted the post I said that in so it wont start fights...whatever...they can all just DIE!
I'm very tired right now...I'm going to lay down
Current Mood: tired and frustrated
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07:24 pm
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finally a Journal update *GASP!!* O__O;
well boys and girls children of all ages who love christmas and them who think Christmas is a time where everyone should...GO TO HELL >_<; *adjust his voice and smiles* luckly I'm not them people...anyway
I sit here next to an empty can of Sprite, sitting around doing nothing right now as I type this, mom in the other room watching her soaps.
Firefly finally gave me 3 of the 4 .hack// games the problem is all my data is in her memerie card and I have a different one...no biggy I'm starting from Rock bottom and going back on the top heh I also have Dragon Quest 8 as a christmas gift from Firefly and her sister Tabi love ya both, and I hope you two have a nice Christmas.
onto E-fed wrestling shit, my last match I was invalved with the Bunkhouse stampede was what people would say it was...
WRESTLECRAP! *laughs* yes and I was the one that wrote it too...and the results I fucked up on a couple things and the results I get annoyed by a couple british gay lovers who was trying to pick me apart for all the minor mistakes..at the time I thought...
fuck it, I'm taking a vacation from that shit, I'm sick of british people(not all of them) and I am not racist by the way...
some points I hate people, they want to brain wash you(not all of them) but yeah they will try...they want you to be like them...I look at there life style and I shake my head at how pathetic they are, with the drinking and doing drugs or telling them to wear this and that and you be out there...
I rather be myself and piss everyone off then be one of them pussies, heh you know the think of that is fun as for the point I feel I will always be better then them anyway.
the people who agree to be themselves deserves a cookie...because the COOKIES love you =3
while the rest are...
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v320/Grishka/1134356276280.gif
I end this entry might do one later...maybe I wont xP
Current Mood: bored
Current Music: I AM(ALL OF ME) by Crush 40
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